(no subject)

so I'm sliding back into depression again. and I know it's partly my own damn fault - I decided to stop taking the meds that Dr Scott prescribed for me several weeks ago. They made me feel like I was utterly flat and I fucking hated it because it felt like the good things were being muted and made more distant and difficult to connect with, while not doing a damn thing for my anxiety or my depression. So I stopped. And I felt good about that life choice and continue to feel that it was the right call to make, but it's also challenging to not kick myself and have massive self-blame over it.

And now I'm back to not sleeping well at night and sleeping too long during the day and just feeling that familiar slide down into my personal bad-place which is frustrating as fuck because I know it's coming and I can't stop it. UGH.

I don't have another therapy appointment until next month, but I'm meant to be practicing the things I've been taught and I do have an appointment with an actual irl psychiatrist on the 29th. HEY-YOOOO. Someone who (theoretically) (maybe) (hopefully) understands bipolar 2 and who can work with drugs for me! EXCITING. SOMETHING TO HOLD ONTO. *~HOPE~*


COMPLETELY RANDOMLY, I've been watching Australia's Next Top Model (omg Brittany!) and I just had to laugh hysterically at the girls freaking out about getting their hair cut while unable to see what was happening. WELCOME TO MY LIFE, YO. I always have to take my glasses off when my hair is getting done and I literally never get to see what's going on until it's done. CLEARLY I'M A TOP MODEL OR SOMETHING. :P